'Selective Hearing'

Being a male I have to admit that one of the greatest talents bestowed upon our gender is our immeasurable ability to bend time and space through the act of 'Selective Hearing'. The successful utilization of our power has been recorded as truth through the words of woman "Men never LISTEN!” Now ladies, while our gift is to be envied, that statement is 100% fiction. We men are 'Excellent Listeners' (to that which we truly want to hear). Furthermore, as a proud father of boys, it is my duty to ensure this next generation recognize and hone this superb gift. Xaine has taken well to his lessons and is truly working to master this talent. Unfortunately, as he has strived to further refine his gift, an unexpected turn of events has taken place. Without the presence of a female, the little booger has begun miss-directed his practicing’s towards me. This unnatural usage of Selective Hearing against a member of his own gender was demonstrated again just the other night. Needing to put a stop to this practice and knowing my boy as I do, a simple sound echoing instance usually cripples his ability. SNAP!!!! Xaine stopped what he was doing (yes, I have his attention) and in turn asked “Dadoo, will you teach me to SNAP” (D’oh, well at least I got his attention). So what is a Dadoo to do? Of course I sat on the bed with the boys and proceeded to demonstrate snapping. Xaine then asked his brother for his input. Alma was a great ‘Big Brudder’, aiding Xaine by positioning his fingers and showing how he himself learned. The boys practiced and practiced until the entire bedroom sounded like a coffee shop during that the era of the Beats. Snap, Snap, Snap… At least these boys will know how to show appreciation at any poetry readings they may attend in the future.

WARNING - The Surgeon General DOES NOT promote the utilization of SNAPPING to disrupt any ‘Selective Hearing’ practices of males 11+ as it can produce sevior sides effects which may include but are not limited to: rough scowls, stink eye, prolonged brooding, etc. Use at your own risk.

The Boys are Back in Town

With our two week visit in Utah having flown by and the addition of my eldest boy “Alma Lucian Bean” to our crew, it was time to return to Florida. An 11:45pm MT departure on Delta (yes, Xaine Delta… I know you want Jet Blue… but maybe this time there won’t be any turbulence) we were on our way. With one layover, two time shifts and a mid day rainstorm we arrived in JAX at an early 8:06am ET. Now having advised many a person that the humidity here isn’t that noticeable, apparently I may be an exception as the first words from Al were “Why is my skin all sticky?” as he proceeded to keep poking his elbow pit. With the explanation of the positive effects of humidity on his adolescent skin (i.e. shiny oily look, possibly blemish breakouts, etc) it was time to introduce him to a landmark not present in Utah (i.e. Da BEACH). No, the brine shrimp shores of the Great Salt Lake are not considered a beach! Fully stocked with Boogie Boards, Skim Board, Football and Frisbee it was JAX Beaches time. With a few brief lessons from Dadoo on how and where to position one’s self for a sweet ride both the boys were soon cutting up the shore line. These “Boogie Brothers” are an endless force of energy I tell you. For about 5 hours straight these two enjoyed the surf and sun. Almost continuous laughter and exhilarating screams of a good ride or an unexpected DROPIN echoed across the beach only to occasionally be halted by a few brotherly pummeling’s. The boys sporting scraps, scratches and having shed a few drops of blood, you’d wonder if they loved one another or were battling it out in typical Alpha male style. Then with boards retired, what is this I’m observing? Both my boys just sitting there chilling, side by side.
What they are seeing or saying I’ll never know. This is their time… and I’m just thankful that I was there to see this tender moment.

Red, White and Blue

Having only arrived back in Utah the night before Xaine and I were already feeling the effects of the dry air, our Floridian humidity enriched skin was beginning to look like the cracked surface of the Atacama Desert. Fearing that we would shrivel into nothingness it was Aunt Bubba to the rescue with two jumbo sized ‘spray bottle fans’. With a few recuperative spritzings of H2O and a couple bottles of water it was off to the Layton Park to enjoy the 4th of July festivities. During the parade, and being the protective father I am, you would never hear me encourage Xaine go beyond the police tape, run out into the road before the next Float, Band, Football team or Cheerleader squad to grab pieces of candy taffy which didn’t make it into the crowd. Nope never would I do that… “Run Xaine Run!”…

With the passing of the last float we walked through a myriad of overly prices bobble shops where Xaine acquired a switch blade comb (him hair look berry nice). Alma (my oldest son) was able to join up with us at this time and the boys exerted their energies on the Bungee Runner, racing through the Obstacle course and seemed to get great enjoyment from pummeling one another at Joisting (let the sibling rivalry begin).
As the time swiftly passed soon we found ourselves BBQing at my folks with the gang (like the good ol days). We all caught up on the happenings of our lives. This took a lengthy 2 minutes seeing how we all read one another’s Blogs. Lucky for us we have our children to keep us going. It was amazing to see our 6 boys and 1 girl playing together. They laughed, they cried, us parents sat back and observed the youthful interactions… it was great.
Full of good food and libation it was back to the park to secure a spot for the Fireworks. Finding a place wasn’t too difficult as the sight of our gang moved the crowd already in place like the parting of the Red Sea. Comfy Cozy on our blankets we chilled and enjoyed healthy snacking (no.. we adults were not trying to toss Swedish Fish into one another’s mouths or pelting each other with the Mike and Ike’s). With the sun now set the sky was filled with vibrant colors and echoing blasts. Being an all powerful 5 year old Xaine tried calling out the order he felt the fire work colors should be presented “RED.. now PURPLE.. now ORANGE…”. Bursts and Bangs of the finally heightened the number of Oohs, Aahs and O,s! (and an occasional “to infinity and beyond” from Alma). One final “KABOOM” and the skies darkened by smoke and ash conclude this Patriotic and Family/Friend filled day.

Dance of the Coquina

This past weekend being, our last in Florida prior to our upcoming 2 week trip to Utah, Xaine and I had to ensure we monopolized the phrase “fun in the sun”… ergo we hit Da Beach. This time the JAX Beaches excursion was a bit more adventuresome then the priors. I surprised Xaine by pulling into the local Surf and Skate and bought him his first Skim Board and some of Mr. Zog’s Tropical Sex Wax (typical boy giggles every time I tell him what the wax is called). Once his board was waxed and with a few instructions from Dadoo my Boarding Baboo was off. Figures he would be a show off and after only a few butt bounces he was cutting up the shoreline. He continued to impress passersby who would exclaim “Way to go Little Dude”. After a good hour of boarding (telling you my boy never slows down) he decided he wanted to try using his skim board as a boogie board. Obviously not as buoyant as a boogie board he ended up being pretty stationary on the shore as the water crashed up over him. But as in everything he does, he sure smiled and enjoyed the moment.

With the newness of the Skim Board warring off a bit we both decided to body surf for a while. That was at least until Xaine “got worked”. A wave crashed over him and drug him along the bottom. (This next part is where every male reader will actually feel sympathy pain) My boys “Long Board”, so to speak, had Sand Rash and cuts all over (and keep in mind we were in SALT water). After the injury and considering it was fairly late we decided a milder form of beach fun would be a good idea. So, as the tide rolled in we picked a nice spot to sit and let the water wash over our legs. While we just sat like good boys, only occasionally throwing sand at one another, the coolest thing occurred. As the water receded, we found ourselves surrounded by Thousands of “coquina”. In those moments after the waters were returning to the sea a magnificent rainbow of sea life glimmering in the sun and then in almost the blink of an eye nothing but the white sands remained as the coquina quickly burrowed themselves into the ground before they could be swept away. Another in a long list of firsts I was able to share with my boy. I will never forget the look of excitement and amazement on his face as he watched the “Dance of the Coquina”.