'Say Hello...."

All Hallow’s Even has got to be the best holiday ever to be celebrated. I mean on how many other holiday’s is it deemed acceptable both socially and by the national psychiatric community for one to let their inner child (or split personalities if ya got them) to take over and run amuck. In our youth we are encourage to become anything we desire. Unfortunately, we all didn’t achieve those youthful dreams of being a Plastic Surgeon, Mime, or even the most powerful Sorcerer ever. Lucky for us though it’s October and Halloween is here. Yesterday the only limitation set upon us was those within the scope of our minds eye. So following the lead of my boys imagination we dawned some slick looking slacks, dress shirts, form fitting vests, Four in Hand Knotted ties and midnight black fedora hats. Get ready to hand over your sugary loot world; two Tall, Dark & Handsome 'Gangsters' are loose on the town….

Oh… we almost forgot to introduce you to our little friends…..…

Our 'Tops' Are Off To You

Hello there, I’m Ry and this is my boy Xaine. We would like to ask each of you to join us in recognizing the horrors inflicted upon the Great “Pumpkin”. Yearly, thousands of them are taken from their patches and placed into seemingly good homes. Their pure innocence blinds them to the realities of the gruesome fate which waits. When they least expect it they are turned upon by their abductors. The poor defenseless things have their tops sliced right off, their guts ripped out and discarded or even baked leaving them as just a hollow shell of their once full selves. The brutality sadly does not stop there. Their flesh is all too often sliced, stabbed and in extreme circumstances chunks of their being removed. If this were not enough, they are then filled with a toxic glowing substance or set a blaze, light emanating from the monstrous expression imprinted upon them by this torturous experience. They are then turned out, alone, scared in the frigid night air. Our apologies for the graphic depiction, however, Xaine and I hope you see why we feel these orange orphans deserve at least a moment. So, to all those lost through the years… Our ‘tops’ are off to you…..


Hey... We never said we were n't guilty of taking in a few of our own…

Fearful And Nightmarishly Good Scares

Dusk soon approaches and I find myself before the entrance to the lanai. With clammy palm I turn the knob and find that it effortlessly creaks open “Doesn’t anyone now a day’s believe in locks?” I think as I cross the threshold. The coldness of the concrete upon my bare feet sends chills up my spine. Heart rate escalates ever so steadily as I inch toward the shadowy figure. Now is the time, struggling to control my anxiety I ever so cautiously extend my right hand… and... AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, this is not an excerpt from “Interview with a Vampire” or “Twilight” but rather a valuable lesson in the dangers of disturbing a 5 year old recipient of synthetic Nosferatu nibblers (Scare me real). Having had several discussions with Xaine on the topic of Vampires this month, compounded by his recent fascination with my pearly white predominant Cuspids, he has expressed that he is eagerly awaiting the loss of his baby teeth (oh, sorry Xaine…not baby but rather Kindergartener teeth) to see if he will be blessed with some sizable blood suckers. Regrettably, as the Tooth Fairy has yet to schedule a visit to my boy, he’ll have to settle for make believe with his plastic chomps. Which just so happened to have arrived just in time to be worn to the “Fall Festival” over at the Citi complex. Nothing better than a gathering of souls to partake in Gaming, Trick or Treating and the ever so anticipated (and in our case very very short lived ) Haunted House experience. In many ways similar to the passages above… We cross the threshold… approached a shadowy figure… behold a Killer Clown (apparently Xaine, like another in our bloodline, does not appreciate these characters)… and… with the force of all his youth, I find myself being pulled out of the haunting zone. All screams from within are masked by his exclaiming to me “Dadoo, we are so done with this… come on NOW!!!!). You sure can tell who wears the FANGS in this duo.

Good Clean Fun

Xaine’s bedtime routine involves a bath and then storytime (i.e. Book, Magazine, Farmer George, etc). One of our recent readings was a publication from a 'Highlights' magazine. Within the pages are numerous Stories, Games and Crafts. This edition just so happened to have directions for something that totally complimented my boys nightly regimen “Crayons for your Tub”… so we figured we’d have some fun and see how they turned out….

Ingredients:
2 - Bars “IVORY” soap (NOTICE: To any Ivory executives gleaming this blog of the blatant plugging of your product. We believe in the goodness of giving and if you feel so inclined to ship us free samples, jewelry or vehicles… we would not reject any such offerings)
1 – Cheese Grater

1 – Package of Food Coloring
4 – Tbsp Warm Water
1 – Ice Cube Tray
1 – Can Spray Vegetable Oil

Directions:

1. Grate the soap using the smallest holes on the cheese grater. (NOTICE: Children are encouraged to ensure proper adult supervision prior to attempting this step. Additionally, I cannot stress enough that ANY members of my family (regardless of age) should request adult supervision from someone other than those in our bloodline)

2. Add 10 – 15 drops of food coloring for desired effects. (NOTICE: The Addition of one’s own thumb flesh/blood from step 1 to enhance a desired RED effect is not needed and/or recommended).

3. Add a few drops of warm water and stir, smash and mush until it looks like thick dough.

4. Press the mixture into sections of an oiled ice-cube tray and freeze for 30 min. Pop crayons out of tray and let dry.

5. Enjoy some "Good Clean Fun".

His New Coiffure

Hair styles come and go with the times, but any who know me also know that I never wait around on time or let a trend dictate my nature. Fact is, should anyone glance through portraits of me, they’d be hard pressed to find a shot where my hair was styled the same. Be it months apart or just the very next day, it will be observed that my hair style is ever changing. Fathoming for a moment on the endless combinations one’s hair could take on (considering length, texture, color spectrum, product, styling tools, etc) why follow the status quo…? (I obviously don’t) So being self aware of the fact that the ‘hair style’ gene in my DNA is anything but recessive, it was only a matter of time before the gene which I passed to Xaine activated. And this past week it did. Of his own free will, at his latest trim and touch up session, he instructed his stylist to cut off his flowing locks in order to now fashion a multi textured Fawx Hawk.

He is able to mold and shape his new coiffure (a.k.a. Hairdo): up, down, left, right, anything in between and even make it look like he has done nothing with it at all. The activation of this gene in my boy has opened him up to a world of endless possibilities. Enjoy you new found freedom my son… I look forward to seeing what fun, creative ways you choose to express your individuality…